Here is what I have learned about the difficult times of others and my own difficult times. It is best to simply acknowledge that things are difficult and just take it in when someone else tells you about something. Good responses are “Oh, wow, that must be hard” or sometimes just a genuine pause to let things set in as you listen to someone. If you are going through something it helps tremendously when someone gets it, when they understand the magnitude of what they are hearing. I think that when someone gives the “it’s all well that ends well” or “it’s fine now” or “you have to look on the bright side” response (even if things have turned out well or even just okay) that feels like an attempt to dismiss the genuine suffering that went into something. “It is what it is”, may direct one more toward something that is realistic. We don’t heal well or move forward well if we don’t acknowledge the truth. I mean people end up with post traumatic stress disorder after some things that actually end well. And PTSD doesn’t just go away either. It needs to be dealt with. I don’t buy that phrase that God never gives us more than we can handle. People do end up with more than they can handle. People break down.